Balance
by Idan
Summary: Sometimes being thrown off balance is a good thing. Based on promo pics for Violets, so slight spoilers for that. Chapter 2 added: Jane and Lisbon try to have a proper date.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I own no rights to anything connected to The Mentalist.

**Author's Note**: For Jane's Scarf on Twitter and Jaimie255. Though I'm not sure this is what either of you had in mind! Just some fluff to carry us through until the next episode.

**Balance**

Lisbon stayed close to the wall as she walked down the stairs in this unfamiliar house, worried that she would trip in her high heels and end up in a heap at the foot of the stairs. Jane would never let her hear the end of it if she did. Besides, she looked damn good in this dress, and she was looking forward to seeing his reaction. He shouldn't be the only one having fun in this con, after all.

She breathed a sigh of relief as she reached the ground floor without incident, then tugged at the dress to straighten it. The flared skirt was fine, but she wasn't used to something so fitted at the waist, and she felt like she could fall out of the low-cut neckline if she took a deep breath. The thigh holster was also new.

"Well, well," Jane drawled as he came around the corner. "I always knew you had it in you, but the reality is even better than I imagined."

His tone and posture were casual, but his eyes were wider than usual, and there was something soft about his smile as he looked at her. And how the hell did he manage to change his whole look with just a scarf? It gave him an Old World air, like he'd just stepped out of a photo shoot for some luxury item she wasn't rich enough to have even heard of. He was wearing a new cologne, too, she realized as he stepped closer. Something expensive and alluring.

God, how was she going to survive this? She was hot just looking at him.

Jane held up one long finger and twirled it. She was so lost in her thoughts that it took her a second to realize he wanted her to turn for him. Managing an eye roll, she indulged him, asking, "Will I do?"

"Oh, yes," he assured her. "You look like the ultimate luxury item."

"Ha, ha. So is that what this is?" She reached out and tugged lightly at one end of the scarf.

"This old thing?" He grinned, preening a little as he adjusted its drape. "You like it?"

"I do. I've always thought you needed a choke chain." She grinned, taking hold of both ends and pulling him forward.

She only meant to tease him, but she must have pulled harder than she meant to, because Jane stumbled forward, pulled off balance, and fell into her. She grabbed for his torso, staggering in her high heels as she tried to stabilize them, his hands landing on her waist and his lips crashing against hers. A squeak of surprise escaped her, and she froze, stunned, as he lessened the pressure but didn't pull his mouth or hands away.

After a second his lips moved against hers, whisper soft and slow, exploratory. It was tender and tentative, the kind of kiss a shy boy might give his first love. She had imagined this kiss in so many different ways, but never like this. The sweetness of it took her breath away.

All too soon, the doorbell rang. Jane lingered a second more, his fingers flexing slightly against her waist, and then he stepped back. She shivered a little at the loss of his heat, smoothing her skirt nervously.

"Show time," Jane grinned, his eyes bright and intensely blue, as if the scarf was lending them some of its color. "Just keep being irresistible and you'll do fine."

She felt herself blush at the compliment, but Jane was already headed for the door and didn't see. She took a deep breath to steady herself, focusing on her role. She would have time to think about the kiss when she wasn't on the clock.

mmm

It was only later, while she was watching Jane at work, that it occurred to her how graceful he was. Always aware of and in control of how his body moved, where his limbs were. Always balanced.

She really hadn't yanked on his scarf that hard. Not hard enough to pull him off balance. She knew how to do that if she wanted to, even with her own balance thrown off by her shoes. He'd only pretended to stumble. Which meant that he'd intended to kiss her. He'd played her.

But why? Why throw her off balance right before their targets arrived? He must have known it would make her hyper aware of him, making her role as his girlfriend that much harder. It made no sense.

But Jane always had a reason for his actions, even if sometimes those reasons made no sense to her. Maybe he'd been trying to get her confused enough to stop giving off the cop vibe he always accused her of having?

Maybe, the treacherous part of her mind that was obsessed with Jane suggested, he'd simply wanted to kiss her. Maybe he really had found her irresistible. Agent Pike certainly had, if his flirting was any indication.

_Yeah, righ_t, she told it scornfully. _Jane never loses control._

_But he does yield to impulse,_ the hopeful voice piped up.

_Rarely_, she retorted.

When she and Jane were alone in the house that night, she went downstairs to see if he might be in the mood to chat, maybe over a cup of tea. It was late, but Jane didn't keep normal hours, and she was way too keyed up to sleep. She was already in her brand new pajamas, but he'd seen far more of her today in that dress, so she wasn't uncomfortable.

The sight of him curled up on the couch made her smile. It was such a familiar sight, so typical of him to sleep there instead of the bed upstairs. Although she was disappointed to find him asleep—and after all these years she could tell when he was faking it—she was glad for the chance to just look at him with no one to see her.

He was so gorgeous. How was it she hadn't built up an immunity by now? And she loved him so damn much, no matter how much it hurt. She'd almost gotten used to that by now, she thought sadly. But every time she thought she was resigned to the fact that her love would only ever be returned as friendship—even if it was a loyal, abiding friendship that she would always treasure—he would come up with some complicated scheme that involved him taking his ring off and her dressing up as his arm candy, then kiss her sweetly like he hoped for something more.

She would never understand the way his mind worked. She had mostly accepted that by now. She just wished he would let her know where she stood with him.

Meanwhile, she would try to enjoy what she had and not waste time wishing for what she didn't. And take care of him, as much as he'd let her.

Picking up the throw on the back of the couch, she covered him with it, tucking him in as best she could. Then she indulged herself by brushing his curls back from his forehead, smiling when he hummed a little in his sleep.

Then she went back upstairs. Maybe the kiss had been part of the play, but she would cherish it nonetheless.

mmm

Agent Pike's admiration wasn't confined to her in a dress, as it turned out. They fell into an easy relationship. It was nice to be with someone purely to have a good time, and he was a pretty uncomplicated guy, so she didn't have to second guess his kisses or compliments.

To be perfectly honest, she was secretly enjoying Jane's occasional snarky comments about her new boyfriend, too. At least he noticed she was seeing someone. And he seemed to be making an effort to get her out into the field with him, whatever Fischer's initial assignments. It was nice to know he was paying attention.

She did feel bad one night when he wandered over to her desk, fiddling with his ring, and suggested they grab some dinner. "Sorry, Jane. I already have plans. Can I have a rain check?"

"Of course, Lisbon. Anytime. Let me know when you're free." He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

She spent her evening at the movies with Marcus wondering if Jane was lonely. He'd made an effort to fit in with the new team, but he didn't seem to have tried to make a social life. Maybe he'd forgotten how? It's not like he would have to put much effort into getting dates, or even a girlfriend, though. She knew of at least two women who'd asked him out and been gently rebuffed.

They were on their way for drinks after the movie when Marcus' phone rang. Lisbon knew within two seconds of his answering the call that their evening was over. "Sorry, babe," he said as he kissed her goodbye. "Can I drop you somewhere?"

"No, I'm good," she replied, waving when he glanced over his shoulder as he headed for his car.

She had a day off tomorrow, and she didn't feel like going home yet. So she pulled out her phone, hesitating only a moment before calling Jane.

"Lisbon! Is something wrong?" He answered immediately, sounding alarmed.

"No, I'm fine. But Marcus' case just heated up. I know it's too late for dinner, but do you want to split an ice cream sundae?"

The pause that followed made her heart sink. But then he said, "Well, I think I can tear myself away from my exciting laundry night and join you, yes. Where?"

She gave him the address of the ice cream shop across the street, and he promised to be there shortly.

mmm

She found a table at the back of the store, away from the noisy flock of teenagers who'd commandeered the front. She'd just taken her first bite of the sundae when a couple of girlish squeals made her look up to find Jane totally ignoring his young admirers, scanning the store anxiously. His face lit up when he saw her, and he hurried over to take the seat across from her and accept the spoon she held out to him.

"Mm," he said, swallowing his first bite. "It's been a long time since we did this. I'm glad you called."

"Thanks for coming," she replied, warmed by his happy expression.

"Oh, I'll always come when you call me, Lisbon." He dropped his gaze to his spoon as he refilled it.

"Really." Wouldn't that be something, she thought wryly.

"Really." He frowned a little as he looked at her. "Lisbon. Of course I will. You mean more to me than anyone else in the world."

She smiled, touched. "That's sweet, Jane."

He smiled back, then asked, "So how's it going with Pike?"

"Fine. We have fun." She shrugged a little awkwardly. Jane had rarely seemed interested in her dates before, and she wasn't sure how she felt about discussing the topic with him.

"Ah. Well, good. You deserve some fun, Lisbon. So it's not serious?"

Since when had she ever been serious about a man? Was he teasing her? She frowned a little. "I like him, but I don't see it turning serious, no."

Because she was watching him closely, she saw the little smile that flitted across his lips. She was puzzled and annoyed and yes, a little hurt. "What?" she demanded. "Are you going to make some insulting remark about how it's my fault I don't have a serious relationship?"

"What? No!" He looked taken aback. "When have I ever insulted you?"

"I clearly recall you telling me I was too intense and particular." That had stung.

"No! I was speaking specifically about the kind of man you were dating at the time. I in no way meant it as a criticism of you. I like your intensity. And I think you should be particular." He was getting worked up, she realized in astonishment. "You should have exactly what you want. You deserve that, and you shouldn't settle for anything less."

"I'm not sure I know what I want," she admitted. She took another bite of ice cream, distracted as Jane dabbed some ice cream off his chin. He was still holding the spoon in his right hand, so he used the napkin with his left. Something struck her as odd, but it took a minute for her to realize he wasn't wearing his ring. He'd been wearing it earlier at work; had he taken it off to do laundry? Or, she wondered as her heart fluttered a little, had he taken it off to come see her?

"I think you do," Jane said quietly. "I think you've just decided you can't have it. Or that it's not worth having."

"Oh?" Of course Jane thought he knew what she wanted. Hell, maybe he really did. But if that was the case, why was he dancing around it? "Well, when it comes to relationships, you don't always get what you want. Sometimes the other person wants something different."

"Or wants the same thing but has no idea how to deal with that," he murmured.

Lisbon held her breath as she processed that statement. "In that case, they need to communicate. Lay their cards on the table."

Jane winced, as if in pain. She wondered if he had an ice cream headache until he said, "Maybe one of them is too terrified. Maybe he thinks half a loaf is better than none."

Terrified? Jane? That hadn't even entered her mind. He regularly did what needed done, sometimes putting himself in danger to do it. He rarely backed down. "That just tells me he isn't hungry," she replied.

Jane blinked at her, startled. "No. He is. He just...doesn't know how to ask. If she says no, his whole world will come crashing down. It's too much to risk."

Holy Mother Mary, Lisbon thought. He really was scared. But how could he think she'd say no? "What if she feels the same way? He's never given her anything to hold onto. And...he's hurt her before. She can't make the first move."

Jane contemplated the last lump of ice cream sadly, then dipped his spoon in to scoop up some hot fudge. "Sometimes he thinks he should speak up and let her stomp on his heart, because he deserves it after everything he's done to her. Everything he's cost her."

Lisbon cleared her throat, which was trying to close. "Maybe he should tell her he'd like to make it up to her. Maybe he should trust her to make the right decision."

An eruption of laughter from the teenagers shattered the moment, and Jane said, "Would you like to go for a walk?"

"Sure. Burn off some of these calories." She returned his nervous smile.

They left, Jane holding the door to let her precede him. The night air was a little chilly, so she pulled her blazer closer around her.

"Cold?" Jane asked.

"A little."

"Come here." He led her over to the Citroen, unlocked it, and reached inside. Next thing she knew, he was draping his scarf around her neck and fluffing her hair over it. "Better?"

"Mm hm." The scarf smelled amazing. She wasn't sure why she found Jane's scent so comforting, though maybe she shouldn't have been surprised. He was the only person  
who tried to comfort her when she needed it, and he had been for years.

Jane locked the car again and put the keys in his pocket, then put his hand on the small of her back and guided her to a small park with little white lights in the trees. It was beautiful in the darkness, and they paused to admire it. As Jane's hand dropped from her back, she felt it brush hers, and their fingers entwined by mutual, unspoken agreement.

Jane cleared his throat. "I want to make it all up to you, Lisbon. If you'll let me. I know you deserve better. But I'll do my best to give you everything you want."

Her heart was pounding so hard she was amazed he couldn't hear it. "Even if I don't know what I want?"

He turned to face her. "Correct me if I'm wrong," he said, and kissed her.

It was another sweet, soft kiss, and when it was over he ducked his head with a bashful smile. His uncertainty vanished when she smiled back at him. "I think you're on the right track," she said.

"Good." He leaned down to kiss her again, this time running his tongue along the seam of her lips. She opened to him immediately, and their arms went around each other as they deepened the kiss, the sweetness giving way to heat.

She was panting a little when they parted. "Are you serious about this?"

He frowned. "Yes. I'm not looking just to have a little fun, Lisbon. I mean, obviously I hope we will have fun together, but I'm not a player. Not when it comes to love."

"Love," she whispered into the scarf, testing how the word felt on her tongue.

"Yes. Love." Jane looked intently at her, ducking a little so he could see her downcast eyes. "The real kind. The forever kind."

Wow. That was a concept that was going to take some getting used to, she thought. "So...what do we do now?"

"I think," he said slowly, "that much as I'd like to never spend a moment with you out of my sight again, we should retire to our separate homes and give this some deep thought."

"You haven't already?"

"Of course I have. But mostly about how to change your mind if you said no." He grinned a little. "I didn't really have a plan for if you said yes. It seemed unlikely."

"Really?" How had he misread her so badly?

"Well, you are dating a relatively good-looking FBI agent you seem to like. And as you mentioned before, I haven't had the best track record." It seemed to occur to him that he shouldn't be giving her reasons to doubt the wisdom of this, and he added quickly, "But I'll do better now."

"You have to." She sighed. "You have to promise not to break my heart. I can't bear it again."

He enveloped her in a big, warm hug, and she could feel his heart racing. "I promise," he whispered in her ear. "Never again."

She squeezed him tightly, then let go, stepping back to see his face. "Okay. Just so we're clear, what is it I need to think about?"

"Whether you think you could spend the rest of your life with me."

She couldn't help a little grin. "I wasn't aware I had any other options. Professionally speaking, you seem inescapable."

"I mean personally. Off the clock." He took a deep breath. "In the more immediate term, I'd also like for you to think about whether you would be willing to break up with Agent Pike and let me squire you around on your free evenings."

Being squired sounded pretty nice when he said it, she thought. "Does that mean you'll take me to dinner?"

"Every night if you like," Jane said promptly. "Or I'll cook if you want to stay home."

She couldn't resist teasing him a little. "And I suppose you'll want to rearrange my kitchen and make room for all your stuff in my closet. At least you won't take up much space in my shoe rack."

He chuckled. "I think we'll ease into that. I know how territorial you are."

"Sex?" She felt daring just saying the word to him. She didn't dare try to picture it, afraid her knees might give out.

"When we're ready."

"Oh?" She folded her arms. "And who decides when we're ready?" Secretive and controlling, she reminded herself.

"We do. By mutual consent. Although I suspect if you feel I'm not moving fast enough, you can change my mind in fairly short order." His eyes twinkled at her, reflecting the little points of light above them. "To start with, will you let me take you to dinner tomorrow night?"

"All right." She took a deep breath. Had she really just agreed to go on a date with Patrick Jane? She wondered if someone had slipped some belladonna in her movie soda. Or maybe the ice cream.

"I've missed you," he said softly. "It's not nearly as much fun riling people up without you there to glare at me."

"I'm sure Kim glares at you plenty," she chuckled, but she was touched. She'd missed him, too, after all.

"It's not the same thing," he protested.

"Oh?"

"No. She likes rule followers, but she's beginning to figure out she can't turn me into one. Whereas you never really minded that because you like a rebel. So she glares at me with distaste, while you glare at me with exasperated affection."

"I like a rebel, huh?" She was skeptical.

"Yes, you do." He gave her his most charming grin.

Though he looked like anything but a rebel in his expensive suit, she supposed he had a point. He'd never met a rule he wasn't tempted to break, and he'd broken some serious laws to boot. He was the ultimate bad boy behind that urbane, sophisticated veneer he wore with such ease. And he was more dangerous to her heart than any tough guy in a leather jacket could ever be. But then, she wouldn't have become a cop if she wanted to avoid danger.

"Hm. If I admit it, can I avoid further proof?" she asked. The last thing she or the FBI needed was Jane out to prove how bad he could be.

"I'll behave for you, Lisbon. But only for you," he said. The look he gave her was just short of smoldering, and she shivered.

"Let's get you home before you catch cold," he said, sliding an arm around her waist and pulling her close to his side as they walked back to the Citroen.

Jane turned on the radio once they got into the car, and they were mostly silent during the drive, content to listen to bluesy jazz. When they pulled up in front of her house, they turned to each other, knowing it was time to say good night but not really wanting to.

"Tomorrow? I'll pick you up at six," Jane said.

"Okay." She smiled at him, because he seemed a little bashful again, which was unbelievably endearing.

"Call me if you get bored before then. Or need decorating advice." He reverted to being a smart ass almost immediately.

"Ha, ha. Do I need to dress up?" Knowing Jane, they could end up at either the best taco truck in town or a restaurant with more silverware than she knew how to use.

"As much as I would like the chance to ogle your gorgeous legs again, we should start out casual. We'll leave the five star restaurants for special occasions."

Her heart rate ticked up as she wondered what sort of special occasions he had in mind. "Jeans, then?"

"Perfect."

"Will you be wearing them?" she challenged.

Jane grinned at her. "Is that a request?"

"Actually," she said, unwinding the scarf, "I want you to wear this." She carefully looped it around his neck, adjusting the drape until it was just right.

"My choke chain?" he teased.

"Uh huh. To make it easier for me to do this." She tugged on the scarf, pulling him forward so she could plant a big, wet kiss on his lips. He responded in kind, and they took turns kissing each other until they'd fogged up the windows of the Citroen. When they noticed, they both chuckled a little sheepishly at behaving like teenagers.

"Tomorrow," Lisbon said, licking her lips and unfastening her seat belt.

"Now," Jane mock admonished, "you behave yourself tonight, Teresa Lisbon. No dreaming about me wearing nothing but this scarf."

Which, she knew, was his way of planting the idea in her head. Not that she minded. "Not unless it involves me tying your wrists to the headboard," she said sweetly.

Jane gave her a wolffish grin. "I like to play games. But be careful. I always win."

"Oh, I think we'd both win that game," she chuckled. "Good night, Jane. Text me when you get home."

"Will do. Sweet dreams, Teresa." He leaned in for one more quick kiss before she opened the door and got out.

As she walked up to her front door and unlocked it, then waved to Jane that he could leave, she was confident that if she dreamed tonight, she would enjoy every minute of it. She had a lot to figure out, like how to break the news to Marcus, but she was happier than she'd been in a long time. And scared. And excited.

Jane had always had a knack for knocking her off balance, she reflected as she tried to dissect her churning feelings. She was looking forward to seeing if she could return the favor. He might have a sexy scarf, but she had a push-up bra and a low-cut shirt he'd never seen.

For the first time in a long time, she was praying a case didn't come up on her day off. She wanted to knock Jane's socks off (and possibly buy him some new ones).

She got into the pajamas she'd bought for the art theft case, fondly recalling the night she'd tucked Jane in on the couch. Maybe someday soon she'd have the chance to tuck him into her bed.

She fell asleep smiling, and dreamed hot, sweet dreams of naked Jane and his scarf.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** So, I started this weeks ago and then got distracted. But I hate leaving things unfinished, so today I decided to wrap it up. Enjoy!

**Chapter 2**

Lisbon woke at her usual time and promptly got out of bed, hoping that keeping busy would help her forget her steamy dreams and the restless ache they'd left her with. Her usual solution to the problem didn't seem to satisfy her; having been held and kissed by Jane, her body would accept no substitutions.

So she went to the gym and worked out, then went home and did some unpacking and housework. She was so full of nervous energy that she got all the rest of her boxes unpacked, two loads of laundry done, and the dishwasher loaded and started by the time she had set to get into the shower and start getting ready for her dinner date.

The idea of dressing to hold Jane's attention was strange. She had no real idea of his type, after all, and whether she was an example of or exception to it. It had been many years since she'd seen a picture of his wife, and there were no more recent examples. She couldn't trust the dresses he'd picked out for her during the art case, since those were meant for her cover.

In the end she decided to just go with the basics. Jane was a man, even if he'd spent most of their friendship celibate, and she'd seen him sneak enough peeks at her boobs during their undercover case to know he liked them. So she went with the push-up bra and low-cut v-neck royal blue blouse over black jeans. As a finishing touch, she wore the heels from her undercover role. They did great things to her ass, she decided. And she straightened her hair and put on smokey eye makeup.

Looking at herself in the mirror, she frowned a little. She hadn't pursued a man in a very long time; it was always the other way around. And she was used to dressing to send the message "respect my authority" rather than "take me now." Was it too much? She had a feeling that Jane, creature of habit that he was, might prefer her professional look. Well, she'd put on a leather jacket.

It was silly to be so nervous, she told herself. It was dinner with Jane. How many meals had they shared over the years? Of course, that was before they'd kissed. And there had never before been a real possibility the night might end with sex. The thought made her shiver with desire.

Even though she was waiting impatiently for the knock at the door, it made her jump. With a deep breath, she pulled the door open—and froze, blinking in shock, at the sexy vision standing on her doorstep.

Jane was beaming at her, scarf draped artistically around his neck over a crisp white button-down shirt—such a relief after those island patterned shirts—above faded blue jeans that hugged his hips enticingly.

"You look—" they both said at the same time, then laughed a little.

"Amazing," Jane finished. He brought the hand behind his back around to reveal a modest bouquet of red tulips.

She smiled as she took them. "Come in. I have a vase somewhere."

"In the language of flowers, red tulips mean 'believe me' and are a declaration of love. I thought they'd be more appropriate than roses. Everybody gives roses." He gave her a little smile, ducking his head a little.

Lisbon closed the door behind him and went to the kitchen, Jane following. As she rummaged through her cupboards, she asked, "Want some tea?"

"I'd love some."

"In the cupboard to your right. The kettle's on the stove," she said, finally locating the vase and pulling it out. She set it on the counter and arranged the tulips in it as Jane filled the kettle, and when he was finished at the sink she put some water in the vase. Then she carried it back out to the living room and set it on the coffee table, admiring how the flowers brightened the room.

"I'm touched," Jane called. "This is more tea than anyone could drink by herself. Marcus doesn't strike me as a tea enthusiast, so I deduce you bought this in expectation of having me over."

"I try to be prepared for any eventuality," she replied, though the truth was that she'd picked up the selection shortly after she moved in. She'd had a vague idea of having a housewarming party, but the time had never seemed right.

She returned to the kitchen to find Jane staring into a cupboard. His voice was a little hoarse as he asked, "Where did you find this?"

He'd found the teacup, she realized. "A rummage sale at church, back in Cannon River. Mrs. Erlanger had a bunch of Fiestaware." She smiled a little at the memory. "She made me buy the lot. But I wanted the teacup anyway." She reached past him and pulled out a cheerful yellow teacup to match his turquoise one. "Do you want it? I'm happy for you to have it."

"Thank you." He pulled her into a fierce hug. Her entire body hummed with arousal at the contact with his firm, warm one, and she pressed closer, resisting when he pulled back to look at her.

"You really missed me," Jane said, smiling.

"I did." There was no point in trying to hide it, after all. "Especially in the beginning, before your first letter." It had felt like dying, she remembered, a little every day.

"I missed you so much," he told her softly. "Writing to you helped a little. But a day never went by that I didn't think about you and wish I could see you, talk to you. I built little fantasies about how I could come back to the States and work with you. But I never thought I'd end up missing you once we lived in the same town again."

"I know it hasn't been the same," she said softly. "The FBI is different. And I don't get to make the assignments."

"I know. And I know we can't change that, at least not right away. But I'd like us to spend time together outside of work."

She nodded. "I'd like that too." Still standing in his arms, she couldn't help looking at his lips and wanting to kiss them. In her heels she was the perfect height to easily reach them. She tangled her fingers in the fringe of his scarf and tugged, and Jane grinned as he leaned forward to receive her kiss.

She kept it light at first, sucking his bottom lip in between her teeth and nibbling on it gently. Then she slid her tongue into his mouth and took possession of it, enjoying his taste and the way he moaned, his hands sliding around her waist and resting on her ass. She decided to give into temptation and slid her own hands down his chest, around his waist, and down to grasp his ass. He jumped a little when she gave it a squeeze, and she sighed in delight when she felt him move, thrusting against her involuntarily.

He pulled back, panting lightly, when the kettle began to whistle. "Now I remember why I don't wear jeans," he said hoarsely. "Behave, Lisbon, if you want to make it to dinner."

She honestly couldn't have cared less about food at this point, far more interested in having him fill her up with himself. But she waited patiently while he made his tea, pouring her a cup as well. As hot as she was for him, she was aware he might not be ready. Just because he'd taken off his ring didn't mean he was prepared to jump into bed with her. She double checked to make sure he wasn't wearing it, and he noticed.

"It's back at the Airstream," he said, sipping at his tea. "Mm. I remember why I loved this cup so much."

She picked up the yellow cup and sipped. She really did need to slow down, she told herself firmly. After all, she hadn't even spoken to Marcus since Jane had surprised her with his revelations last night. Though they hadn't made any commitments to each other, she didn't want to hurt him. He was a good guy who'd been nothing but thoughtful and caring, and it wasn't his fault he couldn't win her heart because she'd given it away long ago.

"Have you spoken to Marcus?"

She hated it when Jane plucked a thought out of her head like that. Sometimes she really did wonder if he was psychic. "No. He texted me this morning that he'd be out of town for a few days. I wished him luck on his case."

"Mm." Jane sipped his tea again. "If they need us to run another con, I'm game."

Lisbon smiled at the thought of shacking up with Jane again, this time as a real couple instead of a fake one. "No, I think they're working another angle. No murder involved this time, so no need to go around renting marching bands. Budgets and all that."

"Meh. Boring."

She chuckled. "Naturally you would think so. Want to go sit in the living room? Do we have to be anywhere at a certain time?"

"We're going someplace casual, so no reservations," he responded, following her to the living room.

They settled on the couch, sitting close so their bodies touched. Lisbon enjoyed his warmth and his scent, mixing with the pungent Earl Grey he was drinking. She could get used to this, she thought.

"I like what you've done with the place, Teresa," Jane remarked.

"Thanks. And thank you for the flowers, Patrick." His first name sounded so strange, but she would practice until it didn't.

Jane smiled at her, pleased. "I like to hear you call me that."

"Good. Because I'm crappy at pet names. I don't think I could call you snookums or stud muffin."

Jane choked on his tea, spluttering a bit before he recovered. "Good," he said firmly. He paused, then said, "I want to, um, apologize in advance if things get awkward. I'm...a little rusty."

"You don't need to do anything you're not ready for," she assured him.

"Glad to hear it. Though your delightful décolletage is not signaling patience."

"Do you want me to change?" She tried to hide her disappointment.

"Not at all," Jane said quickly. "I'm enjoying the view tremendously. I appreciate your thoughtful wardrobe choices this evening. Though if you want to ditch the high heels, you should feel free."

She kicked them off immediately, watching curiously as Jane ogled her feet. She wished she'd gotten a pedicure lately, but it was too late now.

"You have adorable toes," he said.

"Don't tell me you have a foot fetish like the Love Doctor," she said, a little concerned.

"Over the years I've developed a slight obsession with nearly every part of your body," he replied, grinning at her.

"Nearly every part?" She narrowed her eyes, trying to anticipate which body parts he found wanting.

"Only because I haven't seen all of them yet," he assured her. "Your hair is probably my favorite fetish. And I am alarmingly attracted to the idea of counting your freckles. And comparing the taste of them to that gorgeous creamy skin on your breasts."

Lisbon's throat suddenly felt dry, and she drank the last of her tea, setting her cup down beside the tulips. "You don't sound out of practice at all."

"I am, though. Especially since I rarely had to make the first move when I was younger."

She bit her lip, not sure what she wanted to ask was allowed. But if he was going to be more open with her, this would be a good chance. "Even with your wife?"

Jane smiled in a wistful way that tugged at her heart. "Especially with my wife. I flirted with her just like I flirted with all the girls, until one day she told me to put up or shut up. And that if she was going to put up with me, I'd damn well better shape up and stop being such a cocky horn dog. Fortunately, I had the sense to know a good thing when it hit me, so I did."

With his free hand, he toyed with the hair that had fallen over her shoulder, curling it around his finger. "You can ask me anything, Teresa. I don't really know how to talk about my past sometimes, but I'll try, for you."

She whispered, "Thank you." Shivering a little at his touch, she tried to get herself under control, but Jane prevented that by pressing his lips to the pulse point on her neck.

"You, my dear," he whispered huskily, "are throwing off pheromones in a truly dangerous concentration. I'm worried that taking you into a public place might start a riot."

"We could order pizza. I'm pretty sure you could fight off a lone pizza guy," Lisbon managed to say as Jane kissed his way down her neck and dipped his tongue into the space between her collarbones. He grinned against her as she gave a ragged gasp, then sat up, depositing his teacup on the coffee table.

"I don't want to risk breaking it," he said. Then he took a breath to steady himself. "You've slept with Marcus, haven't you?"

Lisbon blinked, taken aback. "Yes. We've been going out for weeks. But we're not exclusive or anything."

He hesitated, seeming to search for words. "And you don't feel the need to, er, end one relationship before beginning another?"

She sat back, frowning. "Are you saying you won't sleep with me until I break up with him?"

"Not necessarily. I'm just trying to save us some heartache. Because there's no going back from this, Teresa. Once we're lovers, we can't go back to just friends. Or just partners. Maybe you could, but I can't."

Lisbon bit her lip. "You're asking for a commitment."

"Yes."

"That's not...something I'm good at," she sighed, feeling her heart sink. He was going to make her wait. And who knew how long Marcus' case would take?

"Nonsense. You commit all the time: to your job, to your friends and family. To me, even, all those years when I made your life harder than it needed to be but you defended and protected me anyway. Commitment isn't some big scary unknown, my dear. You're very good at it when it's something you're passionate about. The only thing I'm really asking for here is to let me meet all your sexual needs. And I realize that's an unreasonable thing to ask until you've evaluated my ability to do so. So I'm willing to give you a free sample, as it were. Try before you buy."

Lisbon felt relief wash through her, and she smiled. But then she saw the look in his eyes, unguarded and vulnerable, and realized this wasn't as simple as he was making it sound. He was putting himself at her mercy after years making sure he was the one in control. He was offering her his heart after keeping it hidden for twelve long years. He was taking a chance on love again after having it ripped away from him so violently that the wound still bled sometimes.

This wasn't just a choice for her. She had a responsibility not to break his fragile heart. He looked so cool and composed most of the time; she was maybe the only one who knew what he looked like without his mask.

"Look," she said, then hesitated. This was terrifying, but she didn't want to be selfish. "This isn't an audition. I...I already love you. And I like Marcus, but it's not the same. If you really want to be with me, I'll break up with him as soon as he gets back. Because I know I'd always regret it if I didn't give us a chance."

Jane's smile was heartbreakingly beautiful. He was always attractive, but with his expression lit with joy he was downright irresistible. "How hungry are you?"

She smiled back at him. "We can order pizza in a couple of hours. First, let me give you a tour."

mmm

As she planned, the tour ended in the bedroom. They never did get around to eating that night, but in the morning Lisbon woke to the smell of coffee and eggs. She got up and looked around, picking Jane's shirt up off the floor and slipping into it, noting the scarf still tied to the headboard with a smile. She was so glad she hadn't gone the rest of her life not knowing what Jane was like in bed. She'd never had a mischievous lover before, but she liked it. Very much.

Untying the scarf, she did her best to sneak up behind Jane as he scrambled eggs, but he must have heard her, because when she was almost within reach, he said, "Morning, love. Help yourself to coffee; breakfast will be ready shortly."

"Smells good," she replied, quickly looping the scarf over his head and around his neck. Then she slid her arms around his waist, toying with the belt loops on his jeans and laying her cheek across the smooth, warm skin of his back.

"Behave while I'm cooking," he mock scolded.

Lisbon chuckled. "Oh, I'll behave. I'll behave exactly as much as you do." She slid one hand down to give him a gentle squeeze.

"Woman, I'm hungry," he growled.

She kissed his shoulder blade and stepped back. "I guess you need to keep your strength up."

"Yes, I do, so no molesting me until we're done eating, or I'll use this scarf to tie you to your chair." He flashed a grin at her over his shoulder.

Lisbon pulled her favorite mug out of the cupboard and filled it with coffee, noting that Jane had washed out his turquoise cup and was already most of the way through his tea.

She'd barely sat down when Jane set a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of her, then sat down with his own. They ate in silence, which Lisbon appreciated. She wasn't a fan of morning chatter, no matter how good the sex was the night before.

When they were finished eating, Jane finished his tea, then got up to make a fresh cup, snagging her mug to refill it. They sipped together with their free hands clasped, Jane toying with her fingers and smiling at her over the rim of his teacup.

This, Lisbon realized, was what contentment felt like. Pure, peaceful happiness with a streak of exhilarating joy running through it. She could get used to this. And knowing Jane was happy because of her just made her even more happy. She thought she might burst with it.

"I love you," Jane said softly.

She smiled. "I love you too."

He squeezed her hand, beaming. "Can we try going out for dinner again tonight?"

"If you can still walk by then," she teased.

"Ah, a challenge." He grinned. Then he stood, pulling her to her feet for a kiss. "Do your worst."

She grinned in return and grabbed his hand, leading him back to bed.


End file.
